Rescued

Elaina has been doing so well these past few days. 10 months of chemo down and about 8 more months to go. It still sounds so long and sometimes I feel like I've been here forever, but I do sense the end of this battle is coming to an end.

 

 

Elaina has passes on the crown of promise to another bringer of light!  Every Time She would set her crown down this one would pick it up . . .

 

place it proudly on his head. . . 

reminding us to never put down and forget the promises of God. 

Sometimes I can still catch myself in a state of shock. . .

 

Is this really my life?!

Not always in a negative way. . . actually more so in a positive shock. . .

Feeling blessed beyond measure.

witnessing love poured out like never before. . .

faith building stronger and stronger. . .

feeling peace that I'll never be able to understand or explain.

 

Never did I have to beg for the love. . . peace. . . grace. . . strength

He knocked on my heart's door a long time ago. . .

It scared me a little at first.

My head screaming who are you and what do you want with ME!?

 

Oh how glad I am that I answered that knock!!

 

My heart SINGS. . .

 

"But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me!"

Psalm 13:5

 

and ALL this time He's been walking with me. . . He's for me

He sees me. . .

ALL this time He's NEVER left.

 

I still need gentle reminders to follow after the teaching one,

but the journey has been such a beautiful one!. . . I will gladly follow after . . .

 

 

My heart still longing to know Him more . . .desiring to be more like the one who loves us so much he gave up everything so we could have everlasting life with no more pain and suffering. . .

NO MORE.

Oh I can't wait to be HOME!

 Has this ever been you?

 

getting caught gazing out, allowing lies to creep in. . . thinking things are so much brighter on the other side?

 

Or. . .

 

wearing the shoes that are too big . . . so badly wanting something you aren't quite ready for?

and then before long. . .

 

 

You find yourself in a STICKY mess!

 

It wasn't that long ago I lived here. . . a place I never want to take up residence again. . . I still find myself visiting every now and then.

So thankful God is faithful. . . He is ALWAYS there.

 

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." 1 Corinthians 10:13

 

 

reminding me that he is a Promise Keeper! Fixing my eyes back on him.

 

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2

"For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say, “He traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness.”  1 Corinthians 3:19

I feel like a spiritual toddler much of the time. . .

 

being caught in a potentially dangerous situation and having to be redirected.

 

"The LORD directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" Proverbs 20:24

 

Thank you God for never giving up. . .

never letting go of your children.

I love surprises

I am a girl that loves sweet surprises. . . the spontaneous . . . .unexpected!
 
While I'm doing my day to day routine and thinking no scheduled "fun" for today.  I get the unexpected.  Days like today don't come very often. . .

During laundry, mediating sibling arguments, tripping over toys, . . .just when I think the day is like most, it changes with the vibration of my phone. . .

a sister surprises. . . fills my heart with fun anticipation. I love when God prompts my friends hearts.  He always knows the needs of his children. God brought this perfect stranger to me years ago to meet needs that I didn't know I had and He did the same today.  Oh how I am grateful!

embracing the tender one. . .

love . . . poured out for my princess. . .  genuine beauty.

such a gift. 

never forgetting the beauty that has been sewn in our friendship story. . . and truly blessed that she was placed in my life. Wow! I miss being in the same city.

honored and joy filled that she was able to stop by on their way home. . . bringing her smalls. . . that I gladly kissed and loved on too.

  Good day! . . . For Elaina as well.  She's been prescribed only one chemo from here on out. . .  hoping this will help her counts stay stable.  She has been all smiles today! . . . I will rejoice and be glad!!

branded

It truly amazes me how my body has been created with all these systems that work together to keep me alive and well.  Like platelets. . . I've never thought twice about these things until E had bruises all over and red spots covering her body.  Chemo is well known for causing havoc. . . I hate it. . . I hate seeing sick, weak children. I hate seeing my daughter bruised up over nothing more than normal brother/sister play. 

These times are rough.  But God has a great plan.  This rainbow princess is a constant reminder of promises from the King. . .
I am blessed!. . . to be able to see beauty . . . experience joy through the suffering.  The reminder of 1 peter 1:7 . . . "These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.". . .  has been branded on her princess head. I won't forget!

Thankful for platelet transfusions!! E had another one yesterday.  We'll see next week if her body is ready for the next round of chemo. 
I was praying on my way to the hospital and felt an overwhelming feeling that I was not going to the hospital just for E this day. . . I had no idea what God was going to do but I continued on . . . grabbed my parking pass and headed up the hill with Jack and E following close behind.  We walked in the elevator and another family stepped in right behind.  They had smiles on their faces . . .  light radiating . . . I just knew this family followed Jesus.  I asked what floor they were going to and the mom hesitated. . . as if she hadn't been there many times before. When she said 2r I was excited that I might get the opportunity to get to know them. 
We had such a great talk. . . exchanging stories, tears, and joy.  Hugging me. . . tears filling her lids . . .  she said, "God took care of me again today. . . He put you in the elevator." . . .I was thinking the same thing about her. . . She blessed me more than she'll ever know.  What an amazing God!! His love is extravagant! . . . I am unworthy. . . yet He is a promise keeper . . . unfailing love! He's teaching me all the time what it means to love. . . I stink at it!  But I am a stubborn one. . . which I am learning can be a good thing.  I WILL allow transformation. . . God's kind. 
God is at work. . . lots of change happening. . . paths leading to the unknown. . .

But I'm expecting great things for our family as we continue along this journey. . . God is always up to something great. . . praying I have seeing eyes. . . .wide open!

Radical work

Without faith it is impossible to please God. Hebrews 11:6

The MRI showed no changes. . . although when I looked at it with the doctor myself. . . I asked where the one "mass" was in her spine b/c I couldn't find it.  We looked and searched and discovered that there is no definite answer to whether it's gone or still there.  When we do The next MRI I'll make sure to ask the radiologist to take extra focus on the one area and make sure he studies that spot too.

I so badly want to celebrate dissolved tumors. . . God's revealing of the miraculous.

But for now I will celebrate that He is Jehovah Rapha and He stopped the tumors from growing since the last MRI.  That is also worth celebrating!

Waiting to see more of His

 

I can choose to sit back and fear the unknown. . . . something that looks, feels, and appears scary but I won't.

So thankful for the ones that go before me. . . encouraging me to march on in faith.

It helps to face fears knowing God has placed others in my life that understand those fears. . . have walked the scary path. . . having nothing to cling to but God. . .

with tightened laces. . . we press on. . . knowing "All things are possible with God." Mark 10:27

"Glory to God who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would dare to ask, hope, or dream." Ephesians 3:20

I have to continue giving God all the pieces of my life, a daily struggle, so He can make something beautiful!

Gushing fountains

"Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life."  John 4:14

Living Water. . .
Without it I would quickly wither. . . .

a dry, faded, shriveled up mess.
Artesian spring. . . I had opportunity to drink from such this past week while in Guatemala. It took educating me.  Drinking water from Central America is typically a no-no, but after describing the water system where I was staying, I knew I could trust it.  I drank and I saw that it was good. . . so good in fact that I had no problem staying hydrated. . . .  plenty of trips to the bana too. :)  (restroom)

Not just concerned about the height of this ride . . . but will I remain in control of all bodily functions. wink. . . wink.

Continuing learning about  being a passenger.  Letting the Lord lead.  This doesn't happen as easily if I'm not completely filled with the spirit.  I often don't know where to use my energy. . .

Do I exhale, move, or both???

Just like how new things often feel uncomfortable for our princess warrior. . .

her eyes remain fixed on her Father who will Never let her go.  Her human body is so weary but her Father that continues to hold her will NOT grow tired or weak. . .

 Do you not know?

Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

Isaiah 40:28

  

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.  Isaiah 40:29

Even youths grow tired and weary,
   

  but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.  

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:31

New chemo is still sucking life out of our princess but as you can see. . . Jehovah Rapha continues to restore this warrior.  And we continue giving praise to the King!  For He is worthy. . .ALL the time!!!

critical

Critical. . . .

 

dictionary meaning. . .

crit·i·cal (krt-kl)

adj.

5.

a. Of or relating to a medical crisis: an illness at the critical stage.

b. Being or relating to a grave physical condition especially of a patient.

6. Indispensable; essential: a critical element of the plan; a second income that is critical to the family's well-being.

7. Being in or verging on a state of crisis or emergency:

 

 

this word showed up several times today. 

 

I quickly realized I was under attack. . . by the one who never wants me focusing on the praiseworthy, pure things of God, but the things this world has to offer . . .

doubt. . .

fear. . .

discouragement. . . .

 

How could this be?  Just minutes before. . .  I'm making bold declarations . . . expectant of the great.

 

And now the declining numbers are set before me and it's almost as if I forget who's in charge. . . my eyes get fixed on number 20 . . . fear sets in for the moment.  Worried about my leaving in a few days . . . .  over a thousand miles away from my family. . . . wondering how everything at home will play out in my absence.

 and just NOW as I type. . . heart's prompted. . . . I remember John 20. . .

The empty tomb. . . ALIVE!

Jesus appearing to his disciples. . . ²¹ Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.”

 

He is calling me to go . . . I must choose obedience.

I must tell Satan to get behind me . . . . AND

Thank God for calling me. . .

What a privilege!!

 

This was modeled earlier in the week by a dear one . . . who we call Bubba

God told him to put into practice. . . take action. . . call the warriors

Lay hands on this princess. . .

 

come together as a body and make declarations. . . 

RESTORATION 

 

 

So I will rise and SHOUT

OUR GOD'S ALIVE!

 

I have shelter underneath his crown.

God's peace is such an amazing thing. I'll gladly be the passenger on this ride called life. I don't like being the driver. . . figuring out which road to turn down, when to stop, when to go. . . . I pray I allow Jesus to drive more often. He takes me places I never knew of.  I'm so glad he doesn't just drop me off and yell, "I'll be back to get you later."  He comes along with me. . . offers a hand when I''m scared. . .  to carry me when I'm tired. . . .  wipe my tears when I'm sad. . . I'm never alone.  Thank you God for Jesus!