faith eyes

Remembering to keep my eyes wide open. . .

fixed on the one who invites me to come. . .  rest. . . to be revived. . .

reminders are everywhere. 

                        Restoration is happening in and through our home. . . I Believe. . . I Trust.

He loves His child more than I could ever try. He radiates the new life! I see and I love.

                            My brown eyes might not ever see what my flesh wants to see. . . the clean MRI. . .

                                             No growths, no tumors, not a single abnormality.

Thankful for faith eyes that see Him at work.  It's only through Him that I can see any beauty at all.  Desiring for a deeper relationship.  Calling on him in all things.  Worry . . . .It's a daily battle, but                                   I have to choose to lay it down and remember there is hope.

                              So much sadness remembering the pain that was taken on for me. . .

              Nails go deep . . . suffering beyond explanation. . . . Love beyond comprehension! 

as followers we gather together. . . encouraging each other with truth. . .

He is there in our midst . . . in front of us. . . .leading the way. . .

just as he said he would be. Covenant love. . . promise keeper. . . the relationship is what he desires . . . not religion. 

I SO do not want to be like the pharisees. . .  a trap I can easily get caught in.

The heart is what it's all about.

When the filth is revealed, cleaning is required for His beauty to arise. 

Will I let him remove the contaminated? . . .

take what most people would see as a mess and turn it into beauty? . .

My eyes enjoy beauty.  I don't want to miss any beauty that He wants to reveal.  The process may be long. . . painful. . . sad. . . tiring, but I long to reflect His beauty.  I'm a daughter who is loved by the King and my desire is for the yuck to be cleansed.

Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

2 Corinthians 7:1

Believe

As we begin the new, . . .  reluctant and nervous. . . we are given opportunity to rely more on God, to learn more truth, and to build our faith.  The unknown is often scary and can cause some anxiety.  My flesh cries out, "I hate this!" . . ."How are we going to pay for this new drug?!" . . . "is this one going to stop the growth of the tumor?"  . . . It makes me want to crawl under a bed . . . even with the ferocious dust bunnies . . . .and remain in the fetal position! . . .

But still the gentle spirit woos . . . inviting me to just rest in his arms.  The arms that never grow tired. . . never let go. . . or never stop loving. 

 He holds us and says, "Do not fear, I have your hand, I will help you. . . Be still and rest. . . The birds do not store up food or worry about what they'll eat each day. . . Are you not much more valuable to me than them? . . .I Got this."

He asks if I believe He is able and I shout YES I believe! Without belief I can't have faith. He wants to help strengthen my faith but I have to choose "belief" and get rid of unbelief. . . believing lies clogs up the working of my faith. . . I can't see the miraculous things happening all around me if I continue believing lies. . .  so I continue to bury myself in His truth.  His Love is indescribable . . . Agape. . . the second unbelief starts to stir . . .He's there showing me . . . reminding me to believe truth. . .  .

sometimes through covenant sisters. . . 

probably not even knowing the shirt she chose to wear was in fact. . . Not chosen by her.

I never thought administering chemo would be part of my job title. . . especially not to one of my children.  But as any new hill is to climb. . . looking up is often one of the scariest parts. . . steep. . . can't see the end. . . But,  I can't see the beauty from the top if I don't choose to climb. . . knowing there will be loving hands waiting behind me to catch me when I fall.

She senses when I'm feeling timid. . . Kissing my face she reminds me again that fear is NOT from the Lord and we have to journey onward. . . protection from the toxic poison . . . we press on!

She receives it well and it appears to have no harsh side effects. 

As we enter into week 3 we'll see if Elaina is the "normal" . . . Praying she continues to be ALL unique . . . . Not the normal. . . b/c those ones have blood counts that decide to take a dive during week three. 

RESTORATION. . . our Home's declaration. . .

 Praising Jehovah Rapha for the restoring that has already taken place and the rest that is yet to come.

rooted

Joy filled. . .

This time last year this princess felt trapped in her pain and unaware how to communicate it.  Many doctors were puzzled and continued to think nothing was wrong.  At quick glance things appeared o.k but looking deep into her eyes Mama could see the pain and sense trouble.  March 31st of  2011 we were placed on a roller coaster. God spoke. . .  we needed to hold on tight, listen attentively to Him, trust Him at all cost,  and speak truth boldly. . . We weren't fully dressed for the battle. . .

so we grabbed our armor, gathered our troops, and went forth.

And like I said, a year later we continue fighting. . . rooted in truth and clung to hope.

Last week we were shown the MRI.  Hopeful for the supernatural. . . we looked. . . we listened. . . There was so much to see.  Out of the mouth of the dr. came the dreaded words.  The words that made me want to cover my ears.

dr's words. . .it's hard to tell for sure but it looks like some small growth. . . followed by a recommendation of changing direction and starting a new chemo. O.K! . . . God's got this! We will not lose our grip on hope. . . we continue to cling. . . .and wait on the Lord.

 Just like the steps of a novice walker on tough terrain. . .

we press on one baby step at a time. . .  Knowing there will still be temptations to hide and not come out until it's comfortable. .  . we will soak in the truth and believe.

Our warrior princess has been on a 4 wk break from the chemo and

like a tree that's been cut down and is sprouting again. . . she blossoms! the new shoots will not fail.  . . such a beautiful sight.

 as remnants catch the wind and bald spots reflect the light . . . a body that feels alive chooses freedom. . .  A princess that feels free to just let the pieces dance.