September is a month filled with memories. . .
It is crazy to think about this time four years ago. Thinking about the memories brings emotions on like a Tsunami. . . And if I'm not careful I can be overtaken by them quickly.
It was in September 4 years ago when we realized Elaina was going to have to have a second major brain surgery. . .
it was in September 4 years ago, when we embarked on our first year of homeschooling. . .
it was in September 4 years ago when we got the phone call that shook me to my core, that Elaina had an inoperable brain tumor that was actively shutting down her nervous system, . .
it was in September 4 years ago when we had our first official Oncologist appointment. . .
it was in September 4 years ago when we met the crew of nurses and staff from ETCH that would care for us and love on us in new ways. . .
September is also awareness month for pediatric cancer. Needless to say, LOTS of memories . . .
tears. . .
many moments of wanting to play but not finding the energy. . .
new battle wounds. . .
too many pokes to count . . .
friends we can't wait to see again . . .
missing spending time with the other smalls
I was the hardest Month of my life, but don't misunderstand. I would not be who I am today without the trials, heartache, tears, fear, etc. There were so many good moments too. . .
Witnessing the power of prayer. . .
soaking in all the moments of "play" . . .
outpouring love from friends
constantly reminding me to not lose hope. . .
and most importantly we were blessed to feel the presence of the Lord reminding us. . .
"but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
I remember several times struggling to put one foot in front of the other, feeling weaker than ever. . . those were the times I took my eyes off Jesus and tried to do it myself.
Well now I sit here . . . September. . . and the next MRI is quickly approaching. The last 2 have been better than what the doctors expected, So, I should not be concerned. . . my faith should be firmly planted b/c this is familiar territory. . . right?! But to be perfectly honest, I don't know that these routine MRIs will ever be easy. This journey has been very trying. . . So often I want to just crawl under the bed, suck my thumb and never come out. .. Trying to keep it real ;) But even now, a verse comes to mind. . . "the testing of my faith produces perseverance and to let perseverance finish its work so that I may be mature and complete lacking nothing." "When I am afraid, I put my trust in YOU" and my strength is again renewed! God is so good! Thank you for praying!
