Tender

This boy is a special, tender warrior! He has probably had it tougher than I'll ever know on this journey we've walked for the past several years.    From the time he was three he has been quietly watching from the background.  He has seen so much love poured out on his sister. . . so hard for one so small to understand the why.  Why Elaina gets so many treats and presents. . . . why so many people hug her and ooh and aww over "how good she looks."  I really wonder sometimes what goes on in his sweet head. . . tonight I got a small glimpse.  During his routine bedtime prayer he states all that he is thankful for and then he says, "God please, please, please heal Elaina, take those tumors away so she can be healthy." I saw the love he has for his sister and it melted my heart.  Journeys like these are so hard on the siblings in so many ways.  God is working in him and nothing is going to be wasted. . . .NOTHING! So thankful for my Buddy! He also loves his little brother!  They are a strong team those two!. . .

but put the three of them together and they are unstoppable.

The Key to Courage

I received this key in the mail and I knew . . . God had a message for me.  I am so thankful he prompted this sweet sister's heart and she obeyed by placing it in the mail for me .  God is so good! I asked, "God please tell me the key to courage."  . . .. Me. .  . feeling somewhat of a fool for forgetting so soon . . . was ready to hear straight from Him . . . and He is FAITHFUL!

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
    bind them around your neck,
    write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will win favor and a good name
    in the sight of God and man

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,

    and he will make your paths straight" . . . Proverbs 3:3-6

I have many verses within my heart that God helped to sow in regards to fear over the past several years.  And as I asked God to steady my heart and quiet my soul I began to hear truth surface. 

"When I am afraid I will trust in you" Psalm 56:3

"Be Strong and courageous! Do Not Tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27-1

Are just a few. 

So WHAT is the KEY to COURAGE? 

The key to courage is to get into the Word of God. . . meditate on it day and night! The Key to courage is to focus on God's Truth and not my circumstances.  .  . Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105 

All that trust in Christ as Savior and Lord can declare these promises spoken in Joshua 1 verse 5:   No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Amazing PROMISES!!!

We have an appointment with the neurosurgeon on Friday (tomorrow) so we ask that you pray for wisdom and peace of mind for this appointment.  Thank you so much for partnering with us on this tough journey.  All 6 of us are needy in our own way.  . . ALL needing intercession!  Only God knows truly what's on our hearts. . . that's one reason why we ask so often to just pray. He hears all!  

Sustainer

He, Jesus, will sustain us! He is always worthy to be praised. His name was the only word I was able to utter after the blow to my gut today.  The Dr. wouldn't have had to say a word. . . .I knew by the look on her caring face.
    I am so grieved to have to share that the tumor has grown. We have not lost our hope. . . although. . . it does feel like mine, at this point, is being held onto by just my pinky. JUST BEFORE the Dr. came in to talk to us the Child Life Specialist was in our room asking Elaina to cast her vote for the Elf's name that was going to be at the clinic. .  . One of the names was "Hope" and wouldn't you know it . . . that is the one she chose.

A picture is worth a thousand words, or so someone once said. . . and, well, this picture says so much to my heart! It reminds me of the hope God whispered years ago. . . "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11b.  I do not know why I chose this picture to post yesterday on Facebook but God must have known I would need it. . . He knows I need reminders often. .  . 

Our Dr. wants to talk with some others and research a little and then she'll call us.  Oh the wait.. . this was always the part  I hated.  Most likely we will be doing another MRI in two months.  PLEASE PRAY! We need wisdom. . . peace. . . healing. . . and strength for this next chapter. 

Richly Blessed

I cannot believe it has been almost a year since my last post. . . honestly I tried posting several times but for some reason could not get into my account.  Today I had some thoughts that I had to get written down and I had no problem at all getting into the account. . . strange.  The year has flown by . . . here the three are now.  

Not much has changed . . . just lots of new life breathed into our princess and lots of warrior spirit living out of the two princes.

The MRI was postpones because of the large amount of snowfall a couple of weeks back.  So tomorrow is the day . . . 10 months post chemo.  Dr. says that slow growing tumors tend to show themselves around this time if there is any "tumor" life left. . . . But we are still standing firm declaring death of all "tumor" cells!

Family Update:

We were all excited with the news earlier this month that there was a 4th baby whaley trying to flourish. . . Elaina was picking out names and getting ready to share her space with her new sibling. . . she couldn't contain the excitement. . . my eagerness was soon shaken by some complications. . . I dreaded telling the kids. . . especially Elaina. . . knowing she would be crushed hearing she would never get to kiss, hold, or even change stinky diapers (which she willingly agreed to). one of the hardest days in my life. . . I held her tight . . .we shared tears . . . LOTS. . . praising God for his perfect plan for our lives. . . wondering what was going on in heaven at that moment. . .
I reminded her that the lost is already being restored. He is faithful . . . She looked at me with those big brown, tear filled eyes and grinned . . . Phew! . . . I am still broken. . . staying close to my loving Father . . my life is a work I know God will finish . . . Thankful he isn't finished with me yet. . . I learn so much when I am a mess . . .  
These past two weeks have been long and trying on my tender heart.  Good can arise. . .  When the hurt is so deep I can barely breath yet I feel overwhelming love from the spirit. . . . the only way to explain that is GOD's LOVE.  And how he uses other sisters to richly bless in the midst of the brokenness. .  . reminding me he is cradling my face. . . . wiping my fears away. . . storing my tears in a bottle like a treasure. . . That I am precious to him. . . He restores all that is lost . . . His power is made perfect in my weakness. . .
   

Just like water that can restore the dry cracked earth. . . 

Rivers of living water will restore the broken within. 

Last one

We've been waiting for this day for a year and 1/2 now. . . I went to bed last night filled with emotions I cannot describe. . . I thought I would be more excited and giddy but it wasn't that. . . I just can't describe it.  I heard a lie . . . "there will be something else they see and you will not be through with chemo". . . I chose to dismiss it. I had to fix my eyes back on what God revealed a while back.

I thanked God for healing this warrior! and for carrying us through!

 

As I walked to the van early this morning to begin our route to the hospital, I noticed something strange. . . it was still dark so it was hard to tell just what it was.

I soon realized. . .

 

 

I have some sneaky friends. . . HA!

One who God has chosen to reveal  pieces of my heart to. . . pieces that even I don't fully  understand.  

 

 Extremely thankful the MRI showed no growth and maybe even some slight decrease in one of the tumors.

So, we are finished with chemo but there is still much need for prayer.  The next 6 months to a year without chemo will show if the tumor cells are indeed dead.  Each day we will have to make a choice. . . . to pick up our armor . . .

and thank God for the journey . . . the journey already traveled and the one yet to come. 

 

 

The one behind the scene needs prayer too. . .Clothed in his sister's blanket. . . always concerned about how she is doing . . . he follows her around watching her every move. . . He has forever been changed by all that has rocked our world.  I see so often the cry for attention from this precious warrior prince.  Please pray for him too.

 

 

So much to be thankful for as we reflect back

 

Today has been a day filled with emotion: I feel torn. . . I want to jump up and down with joy and shout "No more chemo" but the reality is God has forever changed my heart for the sick kids. . .

Today another child's family is desperately hurting. . . wishing they didn't have to say goodbye so soon. . . The ache is sooo deep.  Please pray for Claire's family.

So many kids fighting for a cancer-free life. . . It's Hard and painful most of the time. . . . 

Praying often. . .

Never forgetting. . .

The ones who fought so hard and are now in heaven.

This beauty is missed so much! Please pray for Kate's family

 

 

 

We ARE excited about the good news . . . we ARE Thankful. . . we DO experience Joy. . .

But our hearts will NEVER be the same. They will ALWAYS have a piece that hurts from the pain and reality of childhood cancer. 

 

None of us could do this without the Prayer Warriors. You are SO needed! 

THANK YOU!!

New

As we have started the new year. . . we have reflected on all that happened in 2012.  Lots of  heartache. . . sickness. . . tears. . . .pain. . . . Love. . . Joy. . . laughter. . . restoration. . . and repeated visits to the clinic and hospital.

We ended the year with an unexpected sell of our house. A complete 7 years at south martinwood and now it's time to move on. . . . it's hard to say goodbye to a place you brought home your first child and then two more. . . so many great memories. . . God is so good!

This new year will be different. It is going to be filled with NEW.  New life. . . new home. . . new neighbors. . . new places to visit. . . . and new learning.

 

What a way to start the year!

 

 

hearts overflowing with joy. . . as two . . .together choose new

 

 

Then, this young prince says goodbye to ONE and hello to TWO

 

 

No more "baby" but rather "Big Boy"

 

Then there's the precious neighbors that we have fallen in love with. 

Our new neighbors have some nice sized shoes to fill. :)

 

 The last few days have been filled with "busy". . . filling boxes. . . donating lots. . . trash cans being filled. This process is different than what I expected.

At dinner last night we had a fun little surprise in the so called "fortune cookie"

"you will have no problems in your home"

smile 

 

 

But the most excited NEW is coming in April! Not only will this princess enter into her 7th year.

 

 

She will be "COMPLETE" with her chemo treatments.  Yes!

I'll say it again YES!

No more of these

 

So excited to be saying goodbye to those ugly pokes and purple gloves!

Yes we will continue to have scans every 3 months for the first year but not as many visits and very few "pokes"

 

Lots and Lots to be thankful for!

YOU, prayer warriors, are so needed and appreciated. . . THANK YOU!!

 

 

 

 

Gifts

This week has been filled . . . overflowing with wonder. . .  excitement. . .

 joy . . .

 

 

love. . . .gifts.

This time of year is so easy to get consumed. . . overwhelmed with the commercialism. . . gifts.  Kids are constantly being asked, "what is Santa bringing you for Christmas?". . . "Have you been good this year?". . . along with many other distractions. . .

It makes it difficult to keep our focus on the true meaning of Christmas. 

Desiring for this year's to look different for us. . .

I asked with an expectant heart. . .

and He got to work at uncovering the beauty underneath the hard, dry mess.

making sure to protect our "faith" eyes from whatever debri that might come our way.

 

Revealing to us many GIFTS we already have. . .   FAMILY . . .

 

TOGETHERNESS. . .

 

LOVE. . .

 

Digging through the mess can be scary. . .  

But I'm trying to remember that God will use my broken. . . messiness.  And it'll be a lot easier if I let loose and just let him chip away the ugly and reveal the treasure that is buried inside. 

 

We are so blessed and have much to be thankful for!  We have already received the most precious gift of all. . . So no matter what we can or can't give, I don't want to forget the gift of LOVE. . . and know that it's always something I can choose to keep to myself. . . or lavish on others.

 

 

The week is nearing the end and it seems the gifts just keep coming. . . MRI showed no change again. PRAISE God for protecting our warrior and restoring this princess.