Last one

We've been waiting for this day for a year and 1/2 now. . . I went to bed last night filled with emotions I cannot describe. . . I thought I would be more excited and giddy but it wasn't that. . . I just can't describe it.  I heard a lie . . . "there will be something else they see and you will not be through with chemo". . . I chose to dismiss it. I had to fix my eyes back on what God revealed a while back.

I thanked God for healing this warrior! and for carrying us through!

 

As I walked to the van early this morning to begin our route to the hospital, I noticed something strange. . . it was still dark so it was hard to tell just what it was.

I soon realized. . .

 

 

I have some sneaky friends. . . HA!

One who God has chosen to reveal  pieces of my heart to. . . pieces that even I don't fully  understand.  

 

 Extremely thankful the MRI showed no growth and maybe even some slight decrease in one of the tumors.

So, we are finished with chemo but there is still much need for prayer.  The next 6 months to a year without chemo will show if the tumor cells are indeed dead.  Each day we will have to make a choice. . . . to pick up our armor . . .

and thank God for the journey . . . the journey already traveled and the one yet to come. 

 

 

The one behind the scene needs prayer too. . .Clothed in his sister's blanket. . . always concerned about how she is doing . . . he follows her around watching her every move. . . He has forever been changed by all that has rocked our world.  I see so often the cry for attention from this precious warrior prince.  Please pray for him too.

 

 

So much to be thankful for as we reflect back

 

Today has been a day filled with emotion: I feel torn. . . I want to jump up and down with joy and shout "No more chemo" but the reality is God has forever changed my heart for the sick kids. . .

Today another child's family is desperately hurting. . . wishing they didn't have to say goodbye so soon. . . The ache is sooo deep.  Please pray for Claire's family.

So many kids fighting for a cancer-free life. . . It's Hard and painful most of the time. . . . 

Praying often. . .

Never forgetting. . .

The ones who fought so hard and are now in heaven.

This beauty is missed so much! Please pray for Kate's family

 

 

 

We ARE excited about the good news . . . we ARE Thankful. . . we DO experience Joy. . .

But our hearts will NEVER be the same. They will ALWAYS have a piece that hurts from the pain and reality of childhood cancer. 

 

None of us could do this without the Prayer Warriors. You are SO needed! 

THANK YOU!!

New

As we have started the new year. . . we have reflected on all that happened in 2012.  Lots of  heartache. . . sickness. . . tears. . . .pain. . . . Love. . . Joy. . . laughter. . . restoration. . . and repeated visits to the clinic and hospital.

We ended the year with an unexpected sell of our house. A complete 7 years at south martinwood and now it's time to move on. . . . it's hard to say goodbye to a place you brought home your first child and then two more. . . so many great memories. . . God is so good!

This new year will be different. It is going to be filled with NEW.  New life. . . new home. . . new neighbors. . . new places to visit. . . . and new learning.

 

What a way to start the year!

 

 

hearts overflowing with joy. . . as two . . .together choose new

 

 

Then, this young prince says goodbye to ONE and hello to TWO

 

 

No more "baby" but rather "Big Boy"

 

Then there's the precious neighbors that we have fallen in love with. 

Our new neighbors have some nice sized shoes to fill. :)

 

 The last few days have been filled with "busy". . . filling boxes. . . donating lots. . . trash cans being filled. This process is different than what I expected.

At dinner last night we had a fun little surprise in the so called "fortune cookie"

"you will have no problems in your home"

smile 

 

 

But the most excited NEW is coming in April! Not only will this princess enter into her 7th year.

 

 

She will be "COMPLETE" with her chemo treatments.  Yes!

I'll say it again YES!

No more of these

 

So excited to be saying goodbye to those ugly pokes and purple gloves!

Yes we will continue to have scans every 3 months for the first year but not as many visits and very few "pokes"

 

Lots and Lots to be thankful for!

YOU, prayer warriors, are so needed and appreciated. . . THANK YOU!!

 

 

 

 

Gifts

This week has been filled . . . overflowing with wonder. . .  excitement. . .

 joy . . .

 

 

love. . . .gifts.

This time of year is so easy to get consumed. . . overwhelmed with the commercialism. . . gifts.  Kids are constantly being asked, "what is Santa bringing you for Christmas?". . . "Have you been good this year?". . . along with many other distractions. . .

It makes it difficult to keep our focus on the true meaning of Christmas. 

Desiring for this year's to look different for us. . .

I asked with an expectant heart. . .

and He got to work at uncovering the beauty underneath the hard, dry mess.

making sure to protect our "faith" eyes from whatever debri that might come our way.

 

Revealing to us many GIFTS we already have. . .   FAMILY . . .

 

TOGETHERNESS. . .

 

LOVE. . .

 

Digging through the mess can be scary. . .  

But I'm trying to remember that God will use my broken. . . messiness.  And it'll be a lot easier if I let loose and just let him chip away the ugly and reveal the treasure that is buried inside. 

 

We are so blessed and have much to be thankful for!  We have already received the most precious gift of all. . . So no matter what we can or can't give, I don't want to forget the gift of LOVE. . . and know that it's always something I can choose to keep to myself. . . or lavish on others.

 

 

The week is nearing the end and it seems the gifts just keep coming. . . MRI showed no change again. PRAISE God for protecting our warrior and restoring this princess.

Reckless

Eyes FIXED. . . "looking to Jesus,

 

 

 

 the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2

Oh How thankful I am for the perfecter!. . . So thankful He doesn't give up on me.  It seems every time my faith starts to waver . . . There he is

 

 

Pointing the way. . . telling me to "wook"

reminding me where to go and when to be still. . . quenching my thirst.

 

 

This world often offers more discouragement and distractions than I'd like . . .But the freedom I have in Christ offers much comfort . . .peace and joy occupies my heart. 

Often Running as fast as I can back to God's Promises

 

Enjoying every minute of this sight . . . typical child like play I took for granted not too long ago.

 

 

Bold faith can seem a little crazy. . . reckless. . .

 

I don't want to play it safe. . . I want reckless faith . . . reflecting on Isaiah 55:11

"so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."

 

So I will continue waving my RESTORATION flag and shouting His ENDLESS GLORIOUS PRAISE

 

NO highs! NO lows! Just as NORMAL as you can get labs. MIRACLE??? . . .

YES 

 I believe God smiles at reckless faith. . . reminding me to boldly press on. . . dancing. .. and singing!!

Petitioning for continued protection from the toxic. . . will you join me?



BOLD Cries

I am called by the most High to pray. . .be bold. . . and stand firm. Often hard to do.  Boldness is what I desire.  Ever since the last MRI I have felt Elaina is healed.  She is filled with more life than she's been in such a long time. Constantly declaring her boldness! . . . along with her other two royal partners.

 

I haven't boldly proclaimed it enough but My heart . . . yet sensitive. . . tender. . . and filled with parts yet refined wants to Scream it! . . . "RESTORATION!!" Even as I type I feel giddy and can't sit still while typing . . . Yes the tumor still shows itself on the images But that doesn't mean she is not healed.
He reminds me often to keep singing. . .sounding a little different these days.  He's offering me a new one to declare. . . BOLDLY!

 

a song of thanksgiving. . .

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24

The HARVEST!

RESTORATION!

Dead tumor cells. . . NEW. . .  PURE SWEETNESS blossoming  

A sister tells me today that her precious 4 year old boy prayed . . . thanking God for HEALING Elaina.  His previous prayers have always been prayers asking for healing.

Again, reminding me to keep BOLDLY singing my new song!

 

 She has been lavished with the light and I see it radiating

 

 

She's such a sweet reminder to Be thanful for who you are instead of feeling guilty for what you are not. I TOO often get caught up in the snare of guilt. . . feeling not good enough

need to be a better student, wife, mom, teacher, etc OR

I wish I was this. . . I wish I was that. . .

Do you know what I am talking about?

. . . forgetting about who I am. . . forgetting the TRUTH. . .

I am a daughter adopted by the most High . . .

Chosen for a time such as this.

To Honor, To Remember, To Cure

This week was proved emotional.  Getting the results of the Mri showing NO growth was great. Still hopeful that God will take it away completely but knowing full well that He could have already Killed it back when treatment first began.

Saying Goodbye to family moving was extremely hard on my heart.

Ones that have invested treasures beyond measure. . . Hopefuls for so many.

 

And yesterday, I had the honor of walking alongside many young warriors and their friends and family . . .

 

I got to walk with two of my favorite small ones

 

 

It was hard not walking with my other half beside me, but he told me I needed to go.  New things are often hard but I remembered it wasn't about me but about all the children who have been forever changed by cancer. . . My attitude quickly changed and I became eager to go.  

not forgetting. . .

 

Remembering and choosing to keep us the good fight.

 

because the devastating reality is that

I felt honored having the opportunity to pray more, while in the presence of the ones hurting, . . . missing. . .

 

 

releasing in memory

 

believing truth. . . The pain will one day be no more

 

 

He is the Tear Catcher.

 

standing firm

 

Standing in waiting. . .

wondering what might be revealed under the surface.  Patiently waiting to ask the expert what's going on? . . . Is it going to be over soon? 

 

Choosing to flee is not an option.

 

But standing firm in faith is. . . and that is what we'll continue to choose for tomorrow. 

 I am ready to see the tumor free brain and spine! 

 Reflecting on Matthew 9:28: "do you believe I am able to do this?  Yes, Lord they replied."

I KNOW God is able. . .

praying for that to be part of our story very soon.

So grateful this mess isn't here to stay. . .

 

So grateful God has revealed His beauty over and over again.

 

 

We will be up and at'em early early but should know something before the day is over.  Waiting is never easy but we are hopeful this will be the best wait ever!

The light is closer. . .

 

 

I just know it!